My Moment with the Backpack

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     Today I was walking through the bread aisle at our local grocery store and happened to notice that there was a backpack in a cart pushed over to the side of the aisle.  Just sitting there by itself and my daughter looked at it and said. “We should move from this section, you never know…” The way she said it obviously giving off implications that there might be a bomb in this unattended backpack.  This moment stands out to me because I got home and was like, “Why was that so scary?”

At what point did this threat become so real.  I mean prior to being in the military the closest I came to a moment such as this was how the airport would say, “If you see an unattended language please report it,” over the intercom.  (or something to that effect, I never actually worked at the airport and I didn’t go to very many places that involved plane travel so bear with me.)   After serving in the military, which included the Gulf War, I still wasn’t afraid in my own country.

For me it more was post 9/11 that I became aware that the violence could directly affect me and my children.  We were living in Ohio and literally lived next to the airport.  That was a very real fear at the time.  Now it seems silly.  Looking back we would have been fine had I stayed in Ohio, in my comfy 3 story condo. (mourn the loss)  I think living here in Massachusetts it was more the Boston Marathon incident that made it so personal and that these things could happen close to us.

Going back to that moment in the grocery store, there was that fear.  I think many people might have this sitting in the back of their minds and now and again it pops up.  My mind goes to a world that turns from this overstocked markets to one where we are wartorn, carrying around weapons and trading our possessions just to feed our families.

It is then that I realize that for some people THAT is their reality. That this exists in the world and that we would turn away people who are running from that life makes me sad.  Sad as a person.  Sad as a mother.  That it seems like that underlying fear that now rests there in the back of our minds tells us that it is okay that we act like that.  That we need to take care of our country, our families.  Do I deny that I want to do that? No, of course I want to help those close to me and around me, but I also want to be able to look back at my life and know that I was a good person, that I tried to be a positive being in this universe.

So yeah, just some thoughts I had in my head that I figured I would share.

~Em

Just there on the desk…

Last night I finished my final presentation for my 3D Foundations Class (which basically taught me the basic of using the Maya application.)  I had to take 4 of the models that I created from image references, UV them, Bake an Ambient Occlusion on them and then import them into a scene.  Then had to take an artistic render image of this.  So, for a program I started the month of August knowing almost nothing about I think I did pretty well.

This is how that turned out.  I don’t know how “artsy” the picture I took is, but at least I got the silly models to stop glowing!  Apparently when I imported them I forgot to move some files beforehand and Maya did some funny stuff.
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so, I made the teapot, the fork, the candlestick and the spray can.  Slowly but surely I “will” learn this and be good at it!! *laughs*  ah well….

This month I have Art Fundamentals 2 … so you’ll get to see my lame attempts at drawing humanoids… I’m weeping over here just a bit, as the thought terrifies me. Give me some confidence k?

I used the picture to inspire some writing…. enjoy ❤

Today I thought about all the things on my desk,
the teapot you bought for me from somewhere out west.
There’s that stolen fork from the dive where we happened to meet.
Your friends thought it was funny, that you bought a stranger a treat.
Even the can of red spray paint is sitting on there.
Remember we used it to draw that heart at the faire.
I have that candlestick holder there as well.
It’s flawed just a little, but it makes my heart swell.
To remember the candle that was in it that day.
That united us together in such a special way.
So random the things I have on this desk.
But they remind me of us, so I like them the best.

Till next time…. ~em

If you see it…

I wrote this for an All Poetry new member contest, which I do not think I won honestly but I thought it was cute enough to share with you all…  basically we had to choose from a series of pictures and write something original for it. This was the picture I chose…

Picture 8 – Picture Credit – © beyond/Corbis

and here is the poem.  I gave the poem the title “If you see it”, which once you read it you will totally understand.

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have you seen my heart
it was lost to me
for I gave it away
oh so easily

where did it go
you must wonder I see
it was to a man who was
so much cuter than me

He wasn’t the right one
though I was so sure it was him
you’ll see when I tell you
oh how to begin…

the things he said
yes they seemed so right
the moments we shared
they blinded my sight

we danced under the stars
and toasted to the moon
a pretty little melody
that ended all too soon

so if you see it,
this lost heart of mine
just give me a call
pull a tab, drop a line.

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Let me know what you think 🙂

~Em