Split Apart | The Way | Encased | I Felt You | Water of Me | A Touch of Vin | Semblance of Hope | All About You | one tear | lost child | Something | the reason | one memory | want | series of words | the line | darkness | the truth | still there | for mom | looking in the mirror | the unseen | lost in a box | Heat | did you ever? | procession | fairy tale | the light | with you | wish for Christmas | baby’s father | is it love? | my endless life | Dear Daddy | A Day of Mine
Once upon a time There was You. You were so happy, joyful in your world. You were complete The Universe had given you everything you needed. You were magic, you were grace. You danced and Oh how you sang. Such beautiful music you made. You were given great gifts. You were an explorer. You were a mad scientist. You were a dreamer. You were a lover of all that surrounded you. You were the caregiver to the land. You were everything you could be. You were content. You were you. The Universe had also graced the world with gods. Now the gods of this place were angry, jealous beings. They of course thought themselves better than you. Thought you should serve them. Thought you should worship them. You didn't need them. They sought to find a way to hurt you. They cursed the food you, and you fell asleep. While you were sleeping, they took their revenge. While you were sleeping, you were torn. They whisked away, the other part of the old you gone. You had become We. When we awakened. We felt different. We no longer felt whole. We are still unique, still special with our many gifts. We still dance and sing. We feel kind of lost though. Some of us look to those gods. Who smile in their contempt at the mess they have made. We try to feel complete inside, but something is amiss. We can feel it out there... ...somewhere. We go looking. We stumble across many others parts now. There are so many. Some are almost a fit. That one who fits our puzzle piece perfectly. Sadly... just when we think we found it. We find we were wrong. In that moment that we were torn. We had become us. You and Me. The split-apart we.
It's not about what you have ..but how you make me feel. When we touch.. When your hand reaches for mine. ...how it all seems more real. The way you stroke my hair.. ..When you look down into my eyes. The way you hold me close ..the way you run your hand down my thighs. It's how my heart races, ...when i lay my head against your chest. or when my arm is across you, ...when we lay down to rest. It's how you can stare at a wooden bowl, ..and marvel at the design. The etchings, the colors, ..or even just amazed at the geometry of the line. It's how you come up behind me, ...whisper how great I smell. The soft kisses, the protective stance, ..and how you caught me before I fell. It's how you made sure, ...that her training wheels were on right. How you came back to me, ...that night we had our fight. It's those amazing eyes, that adorable smile, ..and Oh, that so freakin cute ass. It's the way you say "I love you.", ...and how you always pumped the gas. These may seem like little things, ...that are meaningless to some. But they are just the very things, ...that show me you are my one. The one that I long to wake up to, ...every morning I open my eyes. For you are that missing pieces, ..in the puzzle of our lives.
Love encases me like a bubble It breathes in strongly Pulling me in deeper into its core Then it exhales Exuding tender tentacles That capture, That caress, That stroke on every pore of my being. They dance, and swirl Twirling me through my days Wrapping around my thoughts, Melding into my very existence, Molding me anew Into one spirit A spirit that sings in contentment Glistening in the light it sparkles Shimmering in the darkness Forging itself into tiny particles That flutters softly amidst my inner most being Releasing me from past fears Whispering to my soul You have found your heart And it is with he…
I felt you when we met, you made me smile and laugh so hard. I felt you when you kissed me good night, and handed me your card. I felt you when you talked to me about the things in your life. I felt you when you held me oh so close on that one special night. I felt you when you lied to me, as I cried myself to sleep. I felt you when I died inside, when all i could see was grief. I felt you when you apologized, and said it wouldn't happen again. I felt you when you faltered twice, and I had to say the end. I felt you when I walked away, and quietly disappeared. I felt you once again today, and I wanted you to hear.
Love such a raw river of emotion How deep it streams through me an endless tide for my children a deep well for man I would love for myself I find I have just skimmed the top searching for a fountain to explore I bathe in it, relish in its joy cry hot tears for its pain I swim in the rippling tub of desire and float in the pool of contentment Shower on me the gifts of that love let me rain the fruits on those closest to me Offer me not any other drink for I wish to ride this wave forever.
The mirrors of your soul, those eyes of soft brown Clear and balanced, firmly planted to the ground Explorer, Warrior, Role model by choice Your baritone voice Plays on my eardrums like spice, made to entice Take me to an imaginary place, with that structured face, ...so fine, so strong Lips formed to kiss, all the day long The lines of your neck, the sweep of your brow So focused on the here and now The arms meant to hold, the mind to inspire The gentle nature of the man, who lights me on fire These are the things that draw me so near Fears disappear, everything’s clear My “one day” list, does consist of holding you close Keeping it real, making the most of what we feel Thank you for the moments, the kindness you’ve shown I find that I’ve found my own touch stone Harnessed in power, solid as lead Come my sweet man; let me show you to bed.
What is going on with the world today? People scream at each other Children forget how to play Some men forget that their children exist Traditions of pain that do persist Tsunamis and Floods and mud slides abound A time of trials it seems we have found How do we find comfort in the land of the lost? Where is our salvation and what does it cost? Where do we find meaning, where do we find hope? How do we find happiness and how do we cope? What if I told you, to find peace is free? That real hope exists of this I can guarantee The truth lies in God, who sees and knows all. Who sees our every triumph Who witnesses our every fall “Why doesn’t he jump in and help”, I want to say Like some superhero to save the day But He gave us the choice To do what is right To help our fellow man To keep hope in sight In the end it will all be counted The good works we do Like sitting in a bank A perpetual queue Have you ever looked up and asked God “why me?” Have you ever wondered at what is your destiny? Is it to work everyday, to gain the most wealth? To think of no one else but only yourself Is it to live with no worries or to have no ties? Is it to only have answers and never tell lies? Ask yourself what you want out of this life you’ve been given Do you want to be more or just be forgiven?
We were worried, you know Your family and I We thought you might be dead But you had just simply runaway Must be so nice to get to do that I honestly must say You have no remorse, no responsibilities, it’s true No compassion for others, Oh, I forgot It is all about YOU. Am I angry? You betcha Am I to blame? Probably much indeed. I could only see you through my desire My love, and ultimately, my need. The need to love you, to feel something back. I am sorry I confused it all once again, with the love that you lack. I forgive you for running But not for this pain The scent of you, the key left behind but no phone call, no message, no letter with my name.
Forgive me if I bleed on your sheets As I have carved myself into an endless sleep. I have given all that I can The essence of the woman I think that I am Wishing I had done so much more with my life. Quickly aging, filled with strife. a mother of failing, my soul deeply wailing, the last tears I spill, as I release my will. The faint beat, I hear it, Could this be the end? I struggle to hear the heart I couldn't mend. I wonder of other's thoughts. Will they feel any pain. Don't worry my loves, I place of you no blame. It was my heart that couldn't be whole. Never Matured, never strong, true joy never to behold. ... a slight wince of pain... ....my ......temperature ..........falls... ............One tear says goodbye, ...............goodbye to them all.
(published Barefoot Afternoons, The International Library of Poetry, pg. 141 ISBN: 0-7951-5150-0, copyright: 2003)
The innocence stolen Her eyes show the Tale of Pain permanent A soul painted pale The Childhood robbed Agony shoved into place Deep in her memory a fake smile on her face The mask that she wears can only cover so much She weeps in her sleep cringes at every touch Her imagination takes her to far better place To face where she is, Would only be her disgrace She agonizes both day and night. of the truth coming out she trembles in fright. She needs to know that it's not her fault not to bury those memories, in a stone hearted vault To face up to the pain, will make the demons disappear bring some hope into her life, Bring the child back near
I have found something so amazing. Something I wish the world could see. Something I hold close to my heart. Something I have wanted endlessly. Even when I close my eyes. It never goes away. It travels with me in my dreams. Lights my darkest days A poet’s muse, a sparkles fuse. You ask, what could it be? To make you laugh, make you cry. To touch the inner me. Be True, Be Real, Be Honest, Feel. Stand your ground and do not flee. For if you look inside yourself You will see the something that I see.
Tears stream down my hazel eyes Across my stinging red cheeks I tried to follow but my feet failed me As you went forward down the streets The words you stated So clearly put Scarred my broken heart No more would my arms be around you For now was time for us to part Despair and Anguish Are all that is left From what you left behind The clothes you piled into a mountain On the bed that was now all mine This so called bitch The woman you left was torn apart that night Lost her mind, gave up on love And lost the will to fight I sit here now Alone, confused and trying to stay sane Locked in a unit with tons of nurses Asking me my name. “Why did you try to end your life” I get asked so many times I had a love that I gave my all But found he wasn't mine. He had given his heart to another It was a drug I cannot name It pulled him far away from me Then he left me with all the blame His family and my friends Tried to keep me from it all “Spare yourself the pain, and stay away from him, Oh, and don’t forget to call” Did I remember who I was? Before I fell apart? Ask me again tomorrow For today, I’m not feeling so smart
The gentleman in black did bear red roses His voice whispered tales of old His silent beauty took my breath away. His strength made me bold. Does he realize the power that he holds? This dark bard that pranced through my time. I think about him often. Always so secure, always so sublime. I close my eyes I can almost feel the memory of our moment. I reach for it, drawing it in I share this time as if emotion lent. The light from the moon showed me the way An etched path in the sand The breeze washed over me gently As he held my hand. Led me to a spot where the water did wash Kissed me softly, we made love under the stars. A candle glowing in the darkness. Music from the beating of our hearts. His tenderness, his time. His eyes met mine. Thank you for this moment. It does well to remind. He gave me books to read He opened up my mind He made me moan with passion He held me when I cried. I know it’s hard to understand Why I did what I did But I could not give him what he needed Nor what he wanted me to give. I let go of him, this dark poet That showed me I was more then I thought. I needed to run away from him to use what he had given me. To find what I truly sought. It’s a dream he did give. This poet of mine. The dream of being happy. The dreams of love divine.
I closed my eyes, he was touching me, He caressed my cheek, could this be, Had I pleased him in my silence, the hard lashes showed the dominance.. I struggled not to finch but in my mind I screamed, The wanting , the craving his punishment and love or so it seemed, I was nothing, it was my bliss, I so ached for his tender kiss, Could he see through my blank expression, to the soul of my obsession.. Slap and pinch me, make me whole... My body aroused, do not console. Break me, beat me...then hold me down... In this pain, my heart does to pound... Love you, hate you... Both the extreme Pain and Pleasure bring both to me.
( I was given a list of words and asked to write a verse per word. This is what I came up with.)
Lips formed in a smile Eyes tell so much more The windows to the soul An open door The smile can lie But the eyes tell the truth Read me more closely I’m open to you Hips thick and curved Formed over time Wrapped in velvet flesh Dangerously mine Beckoning you closer Calling you near Tempting you further Nothing to fear Breath over my skin Tingles down my back Nipples taunt with excitement Nothing to lack Silence in the air Except the pounding of my heart I hear the soft music Of your touch dancing across my skin Let it begin The minstrel of your mouth Playing its tune like a violin Embrace me tightly Hold me close Heart my whisper, hear my moan Your name I call out I want to shout Yes, yes that is the place That pleasure pain look now crosses my face Again, I sing, my voice sounds hoarse The pleasurable course Riding a stallion to win a medallion That comes in the form of a raging storm Of passions ignited, souls united Dance with me, to ecstasy. Eternal moments, Souls collide Fears released, dark pasts declined Open to reason, clear in thought Trust complete, much is taught Teach me my sensei Open me up, feed me the meal Of my mind that I long for so much. Inside I’m open, free of fear A force to be dealt with So much is now clear A sexual being, an intimate soul The lost child grown up now in control Wind that blows like A gentle storm over my body Your wind draws me in Plays and dances, Licks and prances Down my skin Ecstasy engulfs me The mind explodes Unable to comprehend The story you’ve told Your body is the conductor Mine plays the muse A symphony of wonder Composed by you.
Visualize a line if you will Extending out through your life... In this line are various people... Some with gifts of happiness, some give you stife.. But all give something to you, as their turn comes Now steps in a person Holding a silver flask of wine You drink for a long time.. relishing in it's taste... not seeing the true face of the person offering you this gift.. Then one day, this person takes back the flask.. saying that you turned it to poison. you walk away in confusion...hurting... You look to your line Another stands there, holding a crystal tray with various fruits and offers you tea The fruit is sweet, the tea enriching.. You can still see, the other holding the silver flask It's wine so intoxicating that all you want is it back You tell the one with the fruit, that you are scared, and that you want the flask. The persons tear fill your tea, and as the person walks away, you drink.. Realizing the loss.. Have you ever wondered why it takes a loss of something good that makes you want it back..
The darkness does hold.. in it's silent embrace The Fragments of my heart each torn out of place I wonder what happened I beg for the light I just want to remember what was so right There is no forgiveness All seems to be lost I gave the heart freely Now I pay the cost I pity the one that does come next He's pay for the sins of those I regret I realize that isn't right why I need to write it down to remember how I 'm feeling to settle my ground I want to be happy It just doesn't work Not knowing the differences between wonderful and a jerk what was it that made me what could it have been why can't I see it. My hard time with Men. I could cry all day.. about things that have happened but what good would it do. about loves lost in passion. I can't fit the past only look towards what could be. All that I ask is that you don't judge me.
I feel Pain, I feel Hunger Is this what the Almighty intended, I wonder Why must it be a constant fight I keep on trying with all my might It can't all be for none I can't be the only one Who struggles through her daily life Hugging her children, trying not to feel strife. Not due to them, they did nothing wrong "..Its all the man.." as it says in a old song. I realize that I'm at fault just as him. Life isn't a game, that you can win. You just wander through, trying to smile. but let me tell you darlin... It's been awhile
Secondary emotion I cannot find my soul I try to feel the love But all I feel is cold I put on a pretty face And smile the best I can But how can I respond Do I love this man. I feel my heart beat Eyes closed I see his face But how can I love someone With pain that does not erase The childhood pain I have tried to release But still it lies there Like a hungry beast Waiting to tear away any trust That I could possibly find For someone else in my life The beast tries only to remind Of torment, of pain Of nothing to gain Of love, of hate Of the two mixed up. But it’s not the same. He says he understands Comprehends the past But could he, would he love me Would his love last? They say to take a step A step of faith it’s called. But I wonder if can How can this be solved. I pull back gently Reminding him that I’m scared He smiles and says it’s okay. He’ll still be there.
Life is filled with twists and Turns. We all grow older, the mind does yearn. Where do we go now, we ask ourselves. Maturity grasps hold, the wrinkles begin to tell. Understanding comes at a very high price, of not being perfect of not having every whim I wonder, at what age does this begin. We see it in our mother's eyes, the day that we are born. Broken hearts, her past, so clouded and yet so warm. 30 or so years go by, we begin to see it in ourselves, A common bond of aging of growing, of loving, of laughing, of tears... Family seems to hold the secrets, Children say the unspoken truths, Mothers feel the pains of all, Fathers seem to only remember their youth. Hold onto what you have won in life All the good with the bad, the loving and the pain, for in it lies the greatest truth, which leads us to his name.
I know that person, I used to be her. The one that you turn to, when all others let you down the one that holds your attention even when not around You don't want to feel for them because things aren't the way you planned Not showing any emotion being the hard essence of man. Make cruel jokes, make sure you show you don't care but remember my dear, one day, they might not be there True feelings never change Real friendships never die People just lose their way and forget to say goodbye. Don't be one of the cold people one of the dead inside To smile when all you feel is pain, would only be a lie. Don't try to be the knight, that saves others from their lives Just try to see the good You see their love inside Don't begin to get me wrong this way has it's minor flaws I've been hurt more the once or twice I like to think I've made someone smile by trying to be nice. So when you look at yourself in the mirror Tell me, what do you see? Do you see the someone who you like? Can you see the person you want to be? I can only hope, that i will find my way and I pray you find yours. and if the two shall ever meet try not to slam the door. for standing in front of you, might be someone you could call friend but if you let them go, you'll have nothing in the end.
Do you see me.. I'm standing right in front of you I'm waving my arms, and crying out and yet.. you look right through me. I wonder if you even know I am here or if you only see me when you need to. I'm not just here sometimes... I'm here, all the time. No no, I'm not stupid today I wasn't put here for your amusement Yes, Yes I am organized, sure I can do that for you Yes, I'd love hear your story why can't you hear me I'm talking.. and yet... you aren't listening Is there anyone out there who listens? You don't see me. I see that now... I sit in my space of the world surrounded by people who don't see me. Every now and then, i think someone does and then .. I blink, and their vision fades. I am screaming, I trying to be heard and yet... I sit alone. I pick the phone, I say hello there is no dial tone, only the silence that encases my existence. I look up, I see a man. I thought I saw him look at me. his expression suggests he wonders who i am. I begin speak... he turns, no no, he didn't see me either. Is there something wrong with me? I sniff under my arms No no, I don't smell. It must be something else. I tap on the door, I saw someone through the window I know someone is there they gaze out the window, they turn and walk away I am alone, unheard sorrow bellowing for attention. You are there, I know you are You have seen me before. I'm not just this number to be counted when you need to see that your tally for the month is filled I'm tired, tired of trying to be seen tired of trying to be heard. I turn to look into the mirror I close my eyes and reach out to myself there I can see me, I know the person I am. I will trust in that person there for she is the one who will never leave me always see me. I am alone, but I am with myself.
The light, the dark, they grab hold of his mind.. The wonder of his thoughts Pain etched by time.. Words Spoken, Tears fallen Ache Deep within Trying to make sense of his life's tale spins. Speaks few words, His brow so creased. Shattered Dreams Give him silent grief. Words not spoken, Tears not fallen Ache deep within crippled longing of a lost life to begin. trapped inside a computerized world he builds a life that touches none Loves given, friends taken words spoken, tears fallen still ache deep within
Could you feel the heat when I touched your soul I pulled you in You made me whole I asked you why you wanted me You made your claims You set my heart free I give to you my broken heart ripped all to shreds torn all apart Life hasn't been nice though it has been fun I've learned so much and it's just begun I'm not too young I'm not too old I have my baggage hasn't turned me cold You've been around too you must agree but your heart is still there enticing me You opened my eyes to something quite new You give me hope I must say a thank you
Did you ever? Did you ever miss being a child? Did you ever miss the rain falling lightly on your head? Did you ever wonder what happened to your life? Did you ever want to be someone else? Did you ever think you'd fall in love? Did you ever think you'd have enough? Did you ever just want to be hugged? Did you ever wonder where your mother was? Did you ever wake up crying? Did you ever feel like dying? Did you ever huggle your child? Did you ever want them to turn out right? Did you ever wish you could forget? Did you ever..... yeah, me too...
The beginning...Laying my head on your chest as our bodies cling close in bed at night. I feel the length of your arm holding me tightly against you as my breath begins to mimic the comforting rhythm of the rise and fall of your chest rocking me to sleep. Your other hand gently plays with my hair as you slumber... Protecting me and watching over me so that my dreams are clear. I am safe in the arms of love. I know that if I was to raise my head, your eyes would flutter open to see what was wrong. You worry that I might not be comfortable. We sleep soundly... happy... We wake and begin the course of our day; this day begins with a smile. ---------------------------------------------- Another night...the sun gently falls from the sky and the moon rises to meet us. This night I crawl in beside you, you were angry over something before. I thought it best if I waited to be near you. You are holding onto your pillow, facing away from "my side" of the bed. When did we assign the "sides" I wonder to myself. I lay next to you, facing towards you, forming my body to fit behind yours My head softly buried to your back, my hand dangling over your side I hug you as I fall asleep; kiss the back of your neck and whisper “I love you” softly so I do not wake you. I fall asleep, but my dreams, they haunt me, they are filled with wonder and confusion. I wake ....my mind restless, my body aching. I am quiet in my distress. ------------------------------------------------ The end... Tonight, I sat and watched you as you did your best to ignore my presence. I asked you if something was wrong.. if I could do anything, You said nothing could be done, that it was you. You said you were leaving; I faced away from you in the bed this night. I could not even look at the moon, but I could feel it's climbing across the sky as I laid there not sleeping, not dreaming, tears stinging my cheeks. I felt you when you got into bed, I waited till I thought you were sleeping, and turned towards you, and again you were faced away from me. I wondered what could possibly have changed from the before. Seemed like the one I loved had died, and left me with this corpse of a man with no feelings left in him. I am angry, I am sad, I am heartbroken. I do not sleep this night, in my mind, in my heart, I am screaming. -------------------------------------------------- Present... You are gone now, the bed is mine, but it has been moved away from the place we called home. Sometimes at night, I miss the sound of your heart beating near my ear. I miss the touch of you on me, and the love you once had for me. I am better now, I don't cry as much as when you first left. The future looks brighter and my dreams rarely are haunted by your face anymore. I force myself to sleep on both sides of the bed. The moon still rises, it still is there... but it doesn't hold the same meanings it once did. Now it's I who hug my pillow.
Dear momma I am lost I forgot to wear the cross that you hung around my neck oh please save my from my life I can't find my way I've lost my will to say how I really feel, I want to scream oh can't you save me from my life Isn't that just the thing that you wanted to hear Your little girl has lost her way she's become the modern day little Red Riding hood Oh where is the big bad wolf today why is he standing in my way why do I have to fight him Oh can't you save me from my life Yes, I had my first child Do you remember when I was wild why can't I stay young forever Oh can't you save me from my life Isn't that just thing that you wanted to hear, your little darlin has lost her way She's become the a modern day little Cinderella Oh where is my fairy godmother is she lost, does she has a father Unlike your darlin daughter who never got to feel the love Oh can't you save me from life Time will tell the story of my little ones history Can they be spared the modern day Fairy tale life Oh can't you save them from this life.
You have that light around you I heard him say to me today but you need to keep it shining you must let go of that inner pain You must let go he said before it destroys your life You need to move on Move forward Stop looking back Let yourself be the positive Stop holding yourself back Wasn't his calling Wasn't his destiny even if he wanted he couldn't be with me I was still special He could express Any thought, any desire be at rest He's a good man, I hope he can see That even without him I have his love with me. He wished he could wipe away my pain make it all go away He said he couldn't make the pains of the world go away. he would try his best to make me smile to give me comfort for awhile hold me tight, stroke my hair make me laugh bring me what joy he could I was the sparkle I was his bright light I cast my spell on his shield of protection from his own inner pains Wasn't his calling Wasn't his destiny even if he wanted he couldn't be with me I was still special He could express Any thought, any desire be at rest He's a good man, I hope he can see That even without him I have his love with me.
Sing my heart for it has found What it has truly wanted wearing the love like a badge of honor with pride and to be flaunted. My cheering mind My tender soul now grasped in love's embrace the kindness shown the kisses felt the finding of ones place. Being by your side forevermore with nothing to regret My hearts desire My inner fire how much happier could I get To be with you everyday would make my life complete To share every precious moment to accomplish every feat. I know that it will happen even if it is not "now" I look forward to our future some way and oh, some how So know in your heart that I am here and not going anywhere Feel it in your very self how much I love you and truly care
Twas the night before Christmas when all through my mind Visions of you remained not dimmed by time The love is still true the will is still strong my lips still want what my soul still longs. To have you so close and yet now so far look towards the heavens to wish on a star that you will still love me and always see clear that your heart will be true and still want me next year I wish you a Merry Christmas my Santa you will be but the best gift of all will be you here with me.
I looked up, I saw your face filled with emotion, etched with disgrace. No, I won't let that get to me I know the pain of your brutality. The years of hurt that you have given. Why should you now be forgiven? Only that written order keeps you from me That smug smile when you HAD to agree. I remember what you said how you wanted the baby and I dead Now you ask "How is my daughter?" When were you EVER her father? Calling her ONE time on the phone Doesn't make her yours to own. Yes, you could call me bitter, Why I had to tell my sitter "Make sure he doesn't take her away, When she goes outside to play" What kind of life is that to lead Why I ask you, Why must I plead? I never wanted this much pain. Haven't I made that clear and plain? Yes, I am angry still No, I don't have it in my will to let the past be said and done. Sorry, I must go now, I have to run
I feel you holding me tight whispering sweet words all through the night I reach out to touch you my fingers grasp air opening my eyes I fall in despair I cannot touch you You are not here but I can still see you the image is clear Is it want? Is it need? Is it a hunger I cannot feed? Just desire? or love's fire? Simply trust that I must have you near me have you close we will see, which is most In my heart In my mind I know the truth You will see in time True love is real it lasts forever Are you ready for this endeavor?
if you could see the future if you could read my thoughts if You could remember everything you had ever been taught would you still have wants? Would you still have dreams? would everything you ever known be now what it seems? I'd have to say no to these questions that I've asked To have it all would be a waste because could it really last? Could you remain happy in a perfect life to have only had the pleasures and never have had the strife. Honestly I wouldn't want that not for myself I know I enjoy the chaoticness of my life's continuous flow It gives me something to long for something to dream about something to ask for in my prayers when I am about to pass out. I cannot focus on the bad but only find some good because if I had to dwell on things I don't know if I could. Make it through the day to day with so much more to do wash the dishes, look for the keys. Oh God, where is my other shoe? It seems so endless this crazy world that surrounds me all you can do is laugh a little for crying would be silly I am glad that I have the choices that the insanity of my life brings It gives me hope in myself and helps me smile at the little things. so would I want that perfect life that I described before well now that you mention it I could use it a little more.
What happened to you daddy where were you all these years Why were you not around to calm my darkest fears. Do you know that I am here with children of my own That I go through day to day Doing it all alone. Did you hear me crying out for you in your dreams at night Did you hear me needing you to show me what was right. Where were you daddy dearest When I had lost my way I wonder what you look like now and what you'd have to say. Would you even know me if you happened to pass by would you recognize your child and wonder "should I say hi" I only have one picture One link to you in the past I keep it in a safe spot Make sure it will last. I wish that I could find you but all I have is your name I tried your old address but sadly it is not the same Do you ever wonder what happened to my mom and I do you ever look for me Do you even try? It makes me sad and angry the emotions that underlie it makes me want to scream outloud but all I can do is cry I have almost given up any hope of finding you someday all I can do is wish for luck and pray it happens anyway..
Written: September 20, 2005
Waking up in the morning Empty pillow by my side The one I wish that could fill it Wonder where his love abides Could he find his way to me? Would he want to hold me close? Tell me if you something badly? Can you have the one you chose? I want this dream to be a truth now I wish I could have just one time I’d give a lot to make this happen I only want to make him mine. Working through the day now Surrounded by people I hardly know I feel alone in this space somehow I don’t know how to make it go Has he found his way to me? Does he want to hold me close? Does he want this oh so badly? Am I the one he chose? Can you hear me in the darkness? Only a candle as my light Reaching out through the miles Wanting to hold you through this night I wish that I could find my way to you I want to keep you oh so close I want this keep you so badly I want to have the one…. I chose. I want this dream to be truth now Let it happen just one time I’d give so much to make this happen I only want to make you mine.