Today I was walking through the bread aisle at our local grocery store and happened to notice that there was a backpack in a cart pushed over to the side of the aisle. Just sitting there by itself and my daughter looked at it and said. “We should move from this section, you never know…” The way she said it obviously giving off implications that there might be a bomb in this unattended backpack. This moment stands out to me because I got home and was like, “Why was that so scary?”
At what point did this threat become so real. I mean prior to being in the military the closest I came to a moment such as this was how the airport would say, “If you see an unattended language please report it,” over the intercom. (or something to that effect, I never actually worked at the airport and I didn’t go to very many places that involved plane travel so bear with me.) After serving in the military, which included the Gulf War, I still wasn’t afraid in my own country.
For me it more was post 9/11 that I became aware that the violence could directly affect me and my children. We were living in Ohio and literally lived next to the airport. That was a very real fear at the time. Now it seems silly. Looking back we would have been fine had I stayed in Ohio, in my comfy 3 story condo. (mourn the loss) I think living here in Massachusetts it was more the Boston Marathon incident that made it so personal and that these things could happen close to us.
Going back to that moment in the grocery store, there was that fear. I think many people might have this sitting in the back of their minds and now and again it pops up. My mind goes to a world that turns from this overstocked markets to one where we are wartorn, carrying around weapons and trading our possessions just to feed our families.
It is then that I realize that for some people THAT is their reality. That this exists in the world and that we would turn away people who are running from that life makes me sad. Sad as a person. Sad as a mother. That it seems like that underlying fear that now rests there in the back of our minds tells us that it is okay that we act like that. That we need to take care of our country, our families. Do I deny that I want to do that? No, of course I want to help those close to me and around me, but I also want to be able to look back at my life and know that I was a good person, that I tried to be a positive being in this universe.
So yeah, just some thoughts I had in my head that I figured I would share.